35 years!

I have now been out of high school for almost two-thirds of my life. This summer I will be attending a couple of reunions – one at my high school and one with a group of folks with whom I attended elementary school.  I have not lived in either community in the 35 year interval since graduation and so it is with both anticipation and reservation that I approach the possibility of reconnecting with my former classmates.  All of this has gotten me thinking about some of the differences between these reunions and reunions of times past.

First of all, it seems to me that folks have begun to move past the vocational posturing that characterized the one reunion (20 years) that I have attended. Maybe we have lived long enough to begin to realize that life and work have many ups and downs and we are not totally defined by the work that we do. While meaningful work is important, it should be looked at as our opportunity to contribute to the world not as the sole means of self identity.

Secondly, most of us have by now experienced significant difficulties in life that have knocked some of the uncompromising rough edges off our personal interactions. Deaths, unemployment, broken relationships, and a myriad of other life situations have made us a little more accepting of other people’s life journey.

Finally, most of us have begun to accept the inevitable changes in our appearance. While a few folks have maintained face and figure, most people our age begin to make peace with less hair, more inches around the middle, and reduced stamina.  As we begin to accept the face that stares back at us in the mirror we also begin to offer a higher level of acceptance to our fellow middle-aged peers.

As I re-read the preceding paragraphs I suspect some people reading this will find it a little depressing. I don’t. I have found that getting more comfortable with my own mortality has freed me up to love people around me with less judgement and more wild abandon. I have less interest in passing judgment and more inclination to enjoy our time together.